Saturday, February 21, 2009

Need to rant.....

It's been some kind of week....Monday and Tues were horrible. I had so much pain that I couldn't stand up straight or walk without help. UGH so so sick of this. Tom borrowed *is that even true? borrow drugs illegally?* Percs from his mother. Thank God for that, they helped, eased it up enough that I stopped crying and actually started moving. But then, there always has to be a downside, can we say ITCH. omg I felt like I had fallen into the poison ivy patch. Every part of my body was itchy. So now lets add benedryl,,, ahhh sweet relief at last, not much pain, and no more itch, plus, sweet sweet sleep.

Yesterday I had a Drs appt with my Dr who I've seen for over 20 yrs. She scheduled me for a new MRI fr Mon, this presents a problem I haven't yet solved, gave me new pain meds and also informed me that as of next Friday, she's retired! Retired??? how can she do that??? She can't retire until I"m fixed!!! ~le sighs~. She's promised to get the results of this MRI on Tues so she can "hook me up with someone good to help me out once shes gone". All I can do is hope... One good thing she did for me was fill out some papers to send to Great Lakes so my student loan will be pardoned and thats 4k less for me to worry about paying back. Apparently Mr Obama is pardoning student loans taken out by ppl who since have become disabled to work,,, I fall into that category and now the Dr has filled the necessary paperwork to get this done. If our govt is doing this for me, wtf with disability???

Monday at 1pm, appt in Steubenville, no car, Josh and Tom both work, Brian has no exhaust on his truck, mom's car won't start, Tiffany is a possibility, but should someone between 8-9 mths preg drive me that far on roads that may or may not be good dependant upon snow??? I don't think so, therefore I'm unsure how I'll make that appt, but I know I HAVE to make it. Best case scenario in my eyes, Tom never calls off work, I'm legally his responsibility, let HIM take the day off and do his duty, God knows he doesn't do many of those.

Jacob is all kinds of confused about his life right now, as are a few of us. His mommy has decided she just "can't live" with his daddy "right now" so the child is taken to his nana's to sleep at night with his mom. He comes up during the day to stay with daddy while mom's at work or school or wherever, therefore I see him just about every single day. When it's time to leave he cries, huge tears dropping off those chubby cheeks and he begs me, "pwease memaw lemme live wif u, me sweep at ur house", to which normally I have to tell him mommy wants you to come to nana's and mommy's the boss. This comes off like me being the bad guy but I have no choice. Night before last he was allowed to sleep over at my house, he grabbed his daddy and said tytyty daddy! He was one happy lil bundle that night, and even with my back as bad as it's been this week, we had a veryyyy fun night. I just wish I could grab that lil guy up and run far away from all the hurts and troubles in this world, however, that place doesnt exist any more then my ability to do such a thing.

Moving on and getting offline, I've got to try to get some laundry done today, would be nice if the husb type person would see it fit to stay home one saturday and help me out some, but, hes off galavanting somewhere with his brother, as usual.

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